Like most people, Ram Prasad did not realize the worth of his life until he reached the deathbed, where he lies with his eyes wide open, as they were on the day he was born, staring into the emptiness of sky. This is the moment when he realizes that all his life he has just been a part of a race that had no end and that has deteriorated him so badly that he does not wish to recall its memories. So, he tries to remember those days of his life when he was not a part of any race, when he was so new to this world that for him many things lacked name. He remembers the patio where he was born, where he learned to stand on his feet, where he spent his childhood, from where the race started and where he now lies on his deathbed. He observes that the distance between the exact place where he was born and the place where he is dying now is not more than a few feet, which makes him realize the fact that was always before his eyes, but he was never able to relate it with his own life, that most race tracks are circular and so was his.
His heart gets so heavy with this realization that he starts feeling sleepy and his mind wanders to the city of memories to find the most pleasurable moments, to find those decisive moments of his life where he wants to go back and decide again. There he finds himself sitting, facing her, their knees just touching, in a patio filled with orange trees, which caught fire on that full moon night. He remembers the promises they made to live and die together because they always believed that lives don't only end with death, there are other ways, some even more honorable. He remembers the touch of her hand, the smell of her hair, the warmth of her breath and her smile against the golden glow of morning sun.
Then, in the city of memories his mind goes to the place where he took the decision, with an emotion that resembled vanity more than love, to leave her and go abroad. He took this decision not only to have a good career but also because at that time he was content with illusion that he would keep her in his memory and give himself to her from a distance in passionate letters. But soon he realized that it was just an illusion. Since then he has always wanted to go back to that moment and decide again, but after that he was so involved in the race that he was unable to commit the least part of his life to her. Since then he has been alone, though, to say, the whole world was along with him in this race.
With all these memories his heart gets so heavy that he can feel his lungs yielding to its weight. He tries hard to forget her and breathe at the same time but its impossible for him to do so since the air he inhales is of the same patio where he first met her and it still smells of her sighs. Some voices from the street make his journey to the next world and exit from this world a little less painful:
"To be born again, first you have to die. Ho ji! Ho ji!
To land upon the blossomy earth, first one needs to fly. Tat-ta! Taka-thun!
How to ever smile again, if first you won't cry?
How to win a darling's love, mister, without a sigh!
Baba, if you want to get born again??.
Last five lines are from "The Satanic Verses"
His heart gets so heavy with this realization that he starts feeling sleepy and his mind wanders to the city of memories to find the most pleasurable moments, to find those decisive moments of his life where he wants to go back and decide again. There he finds himself sitting, facing her, their knees just touching, in a patio filled with orange trees, which caught fire on that full moon night. He remembers the promises they made to live and die together because they always believed that lives don't only end with death, there are other ways, some even more honorable. He remembers the touch of her hand, the smell of her hair, the warmth of her breath and her smile against the golden glow of morning sun.
Then, in the city of memories his mind goes to the place where he took the decision, with an emotion that resembled vanity more than love, to leave her and go abroad. He took this decision not only to have a good career but also because at that time he was content with illusion that he would keep her in his memory and give himself to her from a distance in passionate letters. But soon he realized that it was just an illusion. Since then he has always wanted to go back to that moment and decide again, but after that he was so involved in the race that he was unable to commit the least part of his life to her. Since then he has been alone, though, to say, the whole world was along with him in this race.
With all these memories his heart gets so heavy that he can feel his lungs yielding to its weight. He tries hard to forget her and breathe at the same time but its impossible for him to do so since the air he inhales is of the same patio where he first met her and it still smells of her sighs. Some voices from the street make his journey to the next world and exit from this world a little less painful:
"To be born again, first you have to die. Ho ji! Ho ji!
To land upon the blossomy earth, first one needs to fly. Tat-ta! Taka-thun!
How to ever smile again, if first you won't cry?
How to win a darling's love, mister, without a sigh!
Baba, if you want to get born again??.
Last five lines are from "The Satanic Verses"
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